Because another midterm examination is just what you need. Answers at the end.
Part I. Cooking
1. The fantastic host student you are, you decide to cook for your host family. Having bought fancy hot chocolate in France, you decide to buy some milk and make it tonight. Later, when almost finished cooking, your host mother adds a cup of to the concoction.
2. Kind student that you are, you next decide to cook an American classic for your host family: pancakes. After hours of scrubbing off oil that has spent years seeping into the pan, you are finally ready to start cooking the batter. Just as you are about to start, your host mother adds a cup of to the batter.
3. You actually are the best host student in the world. This time you decide to cook the cheesiest comfort food in existence: Mac’n Cheese. After a day of converting the recipe into metric measurements and Russian names, you return home with a brick of cheese and other important ingredients. Your family loves the dish, but your host mother thinks next time it would be better with a little added.
Part II. Oddities
4. Identify the mysterious grey substance.
- Canned Liver
- Cat Excrement
- Sunflower Paste
5. Walking down the street towards Rudaki Avenue on a way to catch a “three” to Salam Namaste, a car honks for you to get, placing the “three” sign up in his dashboard. As you are about to get in you notice that your driver is a ginger. In fact, the very first ginger you have seen in Tajikistan. What do you do?
- Get in. Feel bad for stereotyping and wonder if you have developed a strange prejudice against gingers growing up in America.
- Feel slightly less bad, when the next women picked up has the same reaction and the actual language skills to express this concern.
- B and C.
6. Your host sister’s second birthday is this Friday. Everyone will be coming over and your host mother has already started constructing a cake. Being amazing host student that you are (see Part I) you decide to buy her a gift. What do you get her?
- Ask your host mother for suggestions, only to have her shrug and say, “she’s two”.
- Struggle for several days, trying to figure out what a two year-old could possible want.
- Head to the Bazaar and hope inspiration hits.
- All of the above.
Part III. The Hash
7. Laying the trail for today’s Hash, you consider leading the trail to the top of the mountain. Following you friend who is scouting ahead, you begin laying shred, only to have him run back with the information that the hill never ends and a decision to not go this way, but due to your frivolous shred-laying, there is already a solid trail. Now what?
- Nothing and hope nobody notices.
- Lay that false trail and laugh as they follow it.
- Run back and pick up the shred.
- Decide to just tell everyone where to go when they reach that point.
8. Later, as you are with the runners on the magnificent trail you helped to set, they take off in the wrong way and begin heading in a direction that has no markings with reckless abandon. What do you do?
- Nothing. If you love something, you should let it go and if it was meant to be, they’ll come back. Or figure it out eventually.
- Follow them, which will lead them more astray.
- Yell at them to turn around.
- Head off with the slower runners in the correct direction.
9. How many people can you fit in a selfie?
BONUS: Who can guess my new Hash name?
- That’s probably somebody’s daughter.
- Spud in my Mouth.
- The Blonde Bombshite.
- Sunny-Side Up.
- D. Oil. Oil is an important ingredient here. In fact, most commercials that I have seen on the Tajik channel aside from car commercials are oil commercials.
- D. Oil. See above.
- B. Mayonnaise. Bet you thought I was going to say oil again, didn’t you? Don’t be silly. Oil and Mac’n Cheese? That’s absurd.
- D. Sunflower paste. Surprisingly delicious once you get past the ominous grey substance appearance.
- D. The guy spoke better Tajik than me so I guess he was legit. Or at least as legit as any other “three” driver.
- D. When there, on the suggestion of a friend, I ended up buying her a teddy bear. When I gave it to her, she was so extremely happy and I felt like the coolest big host sister in the world for about five minutes and then she got distracted because she’s two. But she learned how to say the word for bear because of it, which is pretty awesome.
- B. I’m deceitful human being.
- B. See above.
- C. Five. Or at least that is our current record.
Also someone was kind enough to capture it from another angle:
BONUS: A. That’s probably somebody’s daughter.